I miss my best friend so much

so much to say and I still wish to go back and talk to her about everything that's happened since then

when we do talk and it's just random short things I wish for our conversations to last longer.

I miss Scarlett so much

you remind me of my father

in everything you do

and say

and this isn't a good thing

not

even

close

I said I love you

and I meant it

I didn't worry about being hurt

or disappointed

or abandoned

I didn't worry about hurting him

or disappointing him

or abandoning him

I didn't run

I conquered

And as the simple 8-letter phrase came out of my mouth,

transforming from thoughts to spoken words,

I realized how happy I was

I was happy for being able to love completely

I was happy to admit my love to him

I was happy because I can love

I love him

I love him

I love him

I could say a hundred times and I will

because it's true

and I'm not worrying that maybe this can end

that maybe he will leave

or I will

that maybe he doesn't love me

because at this moment my love is so strong

it can conquer anything

and I'm not afraid anymore

I love him

I mustn't do this. I can't cry. I'm happy now. 

I need to stop allowing tears to fall from my eyes. I need to do things right, maybe then I won't get yelled at. 

but on the bright side: 
102 days.

81 days without cutting, burning, throwing up, not eating, or scratching.

I'm so proud of myself.

While we're kissing you'll just pull away and tell me everything you love about me. Everything that sets me apart from every other girl. When someone else tells me I'm pretty you quickly comment on how I'm stunning. You always tell me you care about me and how special I am. You are truly amazing and you are my kind of perfect.